Sick as a Dragon
by StBridget
Summary: What happens when a dragon gets sick? Steve finds out. AU Dragon!Danny verse. McDanno Established. crack!fic


Hawaii Five-0 is property of CBS and its creators.

For Joanne McKenzie, who requested a story where Danny gets a virus that causes him to shift when he sneezes, and gave me the line: ""Achoo!" Steve is squished against the closet door thinking "well...it could be worse" just before he hears the creak and crash of the bed collapsing."

Hope you like where I went with it!

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"Achoo!"

Steve McGarrett sighed. That was the third time in the past 15 minutes his partner, husband, and soulmate Danny Williams had sneezed. Danny had woken up with a cold that morning—runny nose, watery eyes, scratchy throat, the works—but the sneezing was new.

"Achoo!"

Sounded like it was getting worse, too. Steve stood up, determined to convince his husband to go home to bed, even if he had to drag him. Steve should never have let Danny to come work this morning. Time to rectify that mistake.

Steve marched into Danny's office but stopped dead in the doorway. Instead of his husband—his _human_ husband—he was greeted by the sight of a scale-covered Danny with an elongated snout, claws, and a tail. For some reason, Danny had shifted into half-dragon form, something he really ought to know better than to do at work when anyone could walk in. Worse, the dragon's nose was running and his eyes were red and watery—disgusting enough in a human, but magnified 10 times in a dragon. It was just gross.

"Why do you look like that?" Steve asked.

"Because I have a cold."

"I know that. That explains the runny nose and red, watery eyes, but it doesn't explain the rest of it."

"I told you, I have a cold."

Steve made a "go on" gesture, sure he was missing something.

Danny sighed. "So, every time I sneeze, I shift." As if to demonstrate, Danny let out another loud "Achoo!" He shimmered, and Steve saw the suggestion of wings and a long neck.

Steve had a horrible thought. "You're not going to shift all the way, are you?"

Danny refused to look Steve in the eye. "Uhhhhh. . ."

"Danny, answer the question."

"No?" Danny said tentatively. Another sneeze, and another shimmer. "Probably not?" Same thing. "I don't know, okay? I'm trying not to, but it's hard."

Steve had a vision of what would happen if Danny shifted into full dragon form. He pictured the door shattering as Danny's neck burst into the main room, and the window breaking as his tail hung out for all to see. "No. Not happening. We're getting you home NOW."

Steve hustled Danny out from behind the desk. He realized Danny was still covered with scales and sporting a tail. "Uh, do you think you could shift back to human form? I can't escort you through the lobby of the Iolani Palace looking like that."

"I'll try." Danny concentrated, and Steve saw the claws, snout, and tail retract until Danny was his human self—then he immediately sneezed and shifted back.

"Danny. . ."

"Okay, okay." Danny concentrated again and managed to take—and hold—his human form.

Steve was relieved. "Great. Let's get you out of here before you sneeze again."

He bundled Danny out of Five-0's offices and rushed him through the lobby of the Iolani Palace. No sooner had they reached the front lawn than Danny let out the biggest sneeze ever—and promptly turned into a full-blown, 30-foot long, 10-foot high dragon.

"Danny!"

" _Sorry, can't help it,"_ Danny said through their telepathic link.

"You have to change back, right now!"

" _I'm not sure I can,"_ Danny admitted.

"Danny!" Steve was exasperated. "You have to! How am I going to explain a dragon on the front lawn of the Iolani Palace?!"

" _Maybe you could say I'm one of those giant blow-up balloons,"_ Danny suggested.

Steve pondered that. "That has possibilities."

" _Of course, that's not going to explain why you're standing on the lawn talking to me."_

"Oh, for Christ's sake," Steve muttered, then switched to telepathic mode. _"Danny, just try and change, okay? Please?"_

" _I'll try,"_ Danny promised. He concentrated, and after a minute shrank down. But, he was still half-dragon.

"The rest of the way," Steve said sternly.

"I _can't_! This is the best you're going to get."

Steve muttered an expletive under his breath. "Okay, fine, get in the car."

Fortunately, he was able to get Danny into the car without anyone seeing him. Steve started the car and headed towards home. He glanced over at Danny. Uh-oh. His nose was twitching. Steve was desperately afraid he was going to sneeze again. "Don't you dare," he warned Danny.

"I'm _trying,_ okay? I don't know if I can hold it!"

"You have to!" Steve pictured the car if Danny shifted. The doors and windows wouldn't just burst; the car would be flat as a pancake with Danny perched on top like a bemused puppy who just sat on his favorite toy. "Just think of the rant you'll have to give yourself!"

Danny let out a strangled laugh. "I'm doing the best I can. Just hurry, okay?"

Steve drove as fast as he could. As soon as they reached the house, Danny tumbled out of the car onto the lawn. "Achoo!"

And just like that, Steve had a dragon on his lawn. "Great, just great," he muttered. "I supposed it could be worse. At least you're not breathing fire every time you sneeze." Steve paused at that horrible thought. "You won't, will you?"

" _No,"_ Danny assured him. _"I'm not that kind of dragon."_

"Well, that's a relief, at least. Okay, let's get you down to the beach where nobody'll notice you." He and Danny maneuvered carefully around the house. Still, a 30-foot dragon is not the most light-footed of beasts, and they left a trail of flattened vegetation in their wake. "That's going to be a bitch to clean up," Steve commented.

" _At least it's not bullet holes,"_ Danny pointed out.

"True."

They got Danny safely down to the beach, and he hunkered down in the sand. He began shivering. _"Steve, I'm cold,"_ he whined.

"It's 80 degrees out!"

" _I know, but I'm still cold. I think I have a fever."_

"Let me see." Danny obediently bent his head down so Steve could feel his forehead. Steve placed his hand on it, then realized he had absolutely no idea how to tell if a dragon had a fever. "I'll get you some blankets."

Which brought up another problem. Steve didn't have a blanket big enough to cover a full grown dragon. He settled for gathering up as many as he could and draping them in a line across Danny's back.

" _Thank you."_

"You're welcome." Steve headed back to the house.

" _Don't go,"_ Danny pleaded.

"I'm not. I'm just getting some cold medicine."

" _Ugh. I hate that stuff."_

"Tough," Steve said. "You're going to take it anyway. This turning into a dragon every time you sneeze thing is ridiculous."

He went into the house and returned with a dosage cup of Nyquil. "Drink up."

Danny eyed it dubiously. _"How am I supposed to drink that? My snout's too big."_

"Good point." Steve thought for a moment, then went back to the house and returned with a bowl. Danny obediently lapped up the medicine. "Good. Now try and get some sleep."

" _Okay."_ Danny curled up and tried to obey Steve's instructions. Steve got a lawn chair and a book and sat next to him, keeping him company as promised.

Eventually, Danny's sniffles and sneezes eased, and he fell into a deep sleep. As he slept, he morphed back into human form. "Finally," Steve said to himself.

He shook Danny gently. "Come on, let's get you into the house and into a real bed."

"Okay," Danny said sleepily and allowed Steve to lead him into the house.

Steve settled Danny into bed and pulled the covers over him. He kissed Danny's forehead. "Go back to sleep."

"Stay with me?" Danny asked.

"Of course." Steve undressed and slipped into bed next to Danny, spooning up against him. Snuggled together, they both drifted off to sleep.

Steve awoke with a bad feeling a few hours later. He looked at Danny. Oh, no. His nose was twitching again. He was going to. . .

"Achoo!" Steve found himself squished against the closet door, Danny's bulk filling the room. Fortunately, though, the room was big enough that it fit Danny—barely. "Well, it could be worse," he thought, just before he heard the creak and crash of the bed collapsing. "Great, just great." He seemed to be saying that a lot today. He really hoped Danny got over his cold fast. Steve really couldn't take much more of this.

Steve turned his attention to the elephant-er, dragon—in the room. "Danny, you're going to have to shift back. There's no way I can get you out of here like this, and it's kind of hard for me to breathe."

Danny let out another sneeze, splattering large quantities of snot everywhere. At least Steve was out of range. Thank goodness for small favors. _"It's going to take me a bit."_

"I'd say take your time, but really, we don't have that luxury. Hurry up, Danny!"

" _Okay, okay. I'm doing the best I can._ "

Steve held his breath—not that he could breathe, anyway, squashed as he was by Danny's bulk. After what seemed like an eternity, Danny turned back into himself, sprawled ungracefully on the floor amidst the remains of the bed. Steve took a deep breath. "Took you long enough," he grumbled.

"Sorry," Danny said sorrowfully. He looked around at the wreckage. "Guess we're sleeping in the guest room tonight."

"Oh, no, no, no," Steve said, shaking his finger at Danny as if he were a naughty puppy. "You, my friend, are sleeping outside. Now come on, before you wreck anything else."

Steve grabbed a couple of pillows for them and headed out to the beach, Danny following meekly behind. The blankets were still on the sand from earlier. Steve grabbed one for himself and made the rest into a nest for Danny. "There you go. Sweet dreams."

Danny settled himself into the nest. "'Night."

Steve settled into the lawn chair from earlier and threw the blanket over him. "'Night." He closed his eyes and was just dozing off when he heard that sound he'd come to dread.

"Achoo!"

Steve cracked open an eye. Sure enough, Danny was a dragon. "Not again," Steve groaned.

" _I can't help it,"_ Danny said in a small voice in his mind. _"You're not going to leave, are you?"_

Steve wasn't sure if Danny was asking if Steve was leaving to go back in the house, or leaving permanently. Either way. . ."Not happening," Steve said firmly. "I said in sickness and in health, and you've definitely got the sickness part down pat."

"Achoo!" Was Danny's only reply.


End file.
